Thursday, August 4, 2011
Evidently, after a few years in China, many people hit what is affectionately (resentfully?) called "The Wall". If you can get past it, by jumping on mushrooms, accessing the secret passage or blowing it sky high, you win. Meaning, you can live here longer, and want to. I have hit the wall. I think I had a running start. I find it hard to think about continuing here. I understand that this is the best place for me now but what I want is to not be here. I don't yearn for home like I once did, anywhere else will do. That's what happens when you hit the wall. Everything irritates you. Frank is being understanding, he bought me roses yesterday. I have dicussed this problem with many people and I am not alone. Everyone else has managed to overcome this wall and they say I will too. Staying busy helps but you must have a day to yourself to just relax. If your apartment complex is as noisy as a circus complete with firecrackers, earplugs are a must and a loud fan at night provides white noise. Taking time to read encouraging, upbuilding things is also essential as well as talking about them with other people. This distracts you and is like steps up the side of your wall. I am trying all of it. One day soon, I will be on the other side helping someone else. For anyone contemplating moving abroad, this is a very real wall so you can prepare now for how you will tackle it. The fact that we simply CAN'T go home right now is actually a good thing because I have to face this, there is no other choice. Look out wall!
"Life is both simple and complicated at the same time. The trick is finding the simple truths that are hidden in the comflicted confusion." -Notebook Quotes