Word Mishaps

I was recently talking to someone about the increase of violence in American schools. I spoke of the influence of violent video games on the very young. In my comments, I said they play these games and then take a 铳（chong4) to school and kill other students and teachers. After I finished speaking, two people turned to me with confused faces. "What do the children take to school?" Chong4, you know, as I made a gun shape with my hand, a gun". One of them kindly smiled, patted my arm and said, no, no, its 枪 (qiang1). I argued that my dictionary said chong. Why do I argue? The other person leaned in and said, "maybe you don't know, but that word hasn't been used for 2,000 years! " No wonder no one understood! How am I supposed to know which word to use if my "up-to-date" dictionary hands out ancient words? The gun I described as being carried to schools is in the picture above. Come to think of it, maybe he messed up too. Were there guns that long ago? Maybe he meant 200 years ago. See what I mean?  Once I explained, they appreciated my information and the confused looks went away. The red in my face began receding too. Who knows how many other misshaps I have had. Most people don't correct you, so you could go on saying the wrong thing for years! For example, after almost three years, I found out that the phrase cesuo (厕所） does not refer to the squat toilet but is just another room for bathroom. We have moved four times and each time, I have demanded of the real estate agent not to give me an apartment with a cesuo! I made it very clear that it was because we were foreigners and our culture is different. We are not accustomed to using a cesuo. Why did no one tell me I was retarded? Somehow, we ended up with bathrooms in every apartment. The first apartment had only a squat toilet though. Serves me right! For this and many other reasons, I have finally made the move to go back to school. Semester starts in September. I cannot rely on the kindness of the local people forever. I want to be understood, not laughed at! It is pretty funny though!
Lymph, v.:  to walk with a lisp.  ~From a Washington Post reader submission word contest
Dictionaries are like watches; the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to go quite true. ~Samuel Johnson
mandy